This quote really stood out to me:
“Have you heard God’s blessing in your inmost being? Are the words “You are my beloved child, in whom I delight” an endless source of joy and strength? Have you sensed, through the Holy Spirit, God speaking them to you? That blessing – the blessing through the Spirit that is ours through Christ – is what Jacob received, and it is the only remedy against idolatry. Only that blessing makes idols unneccesary. As with Jacob, we usually discover this only after a life of ‘looking for blessing in all the wrong places.’ It often takes an experience of crippling weakness for us to finally discover it. That is why so many of the most God-blessed people limp as they dance for joy.”It stood out because it speaks to my idol of choice, loving the approval of men more than the approval of God. Because of this idol, I have dealt with a lot of anxiety and nervousness, trying to get my blessing and validation from the opinions of others. And lately I've recognized that I've even made an idol out of not wanting to experience these anxious feelings.
I have discovered that what I desperately need more than anything else is to know the Father's love for me. I need it to move from my head and penetrate my heart. And I have found that it can only come by the work of the Holy Spirit to awaken me to this truth, while at the same time fixing my eyes upon Jesus as the one who redeemed me from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for me.
The anxiety in my life is my limp, my crippling weakness. And although it is very painful, it is also what continually reminds me that I need Jesus, and that only in Him will my soul find rest.