(Mild spoilers ahead for The Sound of Metal)
I can't stop thinking about a movie I watched last night, The Sound of Metal. It technically came out in 2019, but made it on several "best of" movie lists last year. It's the story of a heavy metal drummer, Ruben, on tour with his bandmate/girlfriend, who suddenly and rapidly starts losing his hearing.
When this happens, the shock is palpable. You see and feel how hard and disorienting it must be to stop being able to hear. Ruben eventually gets connected with a deaf community, where he gets mentored by a Vietnam vet and recovering alcoholic named Joe. Ruben is clearly lost and scared. Joe wants to help Ruben learn how to be deaf and indicates that the battle at this point is not about the hearing, but about mentally learning to deal with this new reality. One thing he suggests is that Ruben start getting up early every morning, to write out his thoughts with pen and paper.
While this does not seem to go well, Ruben does eventually start settling into the community, learning sign language, and experiencing connection and joy. However, something happens to shift his thoughts on to an expensive surgery and the small bit of hearing he might get back from it, so that he can go back to his old way of life.
When Joe learns of this, he is disappointed. He not only sees how Ruben broke trust with the community there, but also sees how Ruben is acting like an addict, frantically grasping for what was lost, instead of learning to be content. Then, Joe says:
“All these mornings, you’ve been sitting in my study, sitting: have you had any moments of stillness? Cause you’re right, Ruben. The world does keep moving, and it can be a damn cruel place. But for me, those moments of stillness: that place, that’s the kingdom of God. And that place will never abandon you.”
Stillness. The place where the kingdom of God can enter in. Ruben hadn't learned this secret yet. Joe had. And what strength and contentment is on display for someone like Joe, who is in a constant state of silence, to still seek this stillness.
I began to think about Blaise Pascal's famous words, "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” I think about the noise in my life. The constant interruptions and distractions, that both come to me and that I seek out.
Shortly after this scene, Ruben gets cochlear implants which bring back some of his hearing. He is delighted, but soon after, sobered to learn that it's nowhere near the quality and volume that he once had. It's distorted, and lots of input only increases the distortion.
In the final scene, after reuniting with his girlfriend and coming to the realization that life is not going to go back to normal, we see Ruben walk to a park bench in the middle of Paris. The church bells begin to ring, but again, they are loud and distorted. He decides to take the implant receiver off of his head, so that there is only silence. At this point, we see Ruben taking in the beauty of the day, and finally getting to a place where he is at peace with the silence.
Great movies can stir up the soul in the direction of the divine. The Sound of Metal is a movie that stirs me up to not only to be the type of person who can sit in silence and stillness more often, in order to experience true soul rest (Matthew 11:29) by more clearly listening to the voice of the one who calls me beloved (Nouwen), and experiencing his beauty, but also to take this stillness to those I come in contact with through a strong and unhurried presence.
