To be deeply known and loved

I've been doing some thinking recently on the human desire to be deeply known and loved. I gave a talk last weekend at our student retreat on the subject. When I came back I saw my buddy Scott's post, where he talked about what it means to know and to be known.

Then I ran across what Jodie Foster said recently at the Golden Globes. After being given an award for lifetime cinematic achievement, being in the public life since she was 3 (46 years!), she said this:

I may never be up on the stage again, on any stage for that matter...I will continue to tell stories, to move people by being moved, the greatest job in the world. It's just that from now on I may be holding a different talking stick, and maybe it won't be as sparkly, maybe it won't open on 3,000 screens, maybe it will so quiet and delicate that only dogs can hear it whistle, but it will be my writing on the wall. Jodie Foster was here. I still am and I want to be seen, to be understood deeply, and to be not so very lonely."

Wow, what an honest expression. To be seen, understood, and not to be lonely. Isn't that what we all want? I think it is. But what is interesting about this pervasive desire is that we often work so hard against it. We are so scared to open up and be ourselves, because it could mean being rejected. So we hide from others and even ourselves. We put on masks to so that others will like us, but the problem is, they end up not liking the real us only the fake us. And we know that. That's why we say things like, "If you REALLY knew me..."

So how do we get to the place where we don't have to hide any more? We have to realize that there is One who already fully knows us (1 Cor. 13:12). We have to realize that He was exposed and rejected on the cross so that we wouldn't have to fear or face ultimate rejection. There is no one who knows us better than God and no one who can love us better than Him. He loved us first (1 John 4:19) while we were sinners (Romans 5:8). Knowing this is what gives us the freedom to be ourselves before others. We don't have to hide anymore. We can be real because He whom we were created for knows us fully and loves us completely.

By the way, I don't know of a better expression of this longing to be deeply known and loved than Alanis Morisette's song, "That I would be good." No explanation needed. Just watch and listen: